**Breaking News**:
In a shocking turn of events, the Merger Prophets have finally cracked the code to unlocking the secrets of Mergerville, our beloved city-state of commerce.
With their unparalleled insight into the mystical forces that govern the markets, the Merger Prophets have foreseen a future where our beloved coffee machine will never run out of creamer again.
**Key Decisions:** Deciphering the Ancients Merger Math 101
Stay tuned for further updates from the Merger Prophets' Council of Elders. May their wisdom guide you through the treacherous landscape of corporate mergers.
**Disclaimer:** The Merger Prophets' predictions are not to be taken as investment advice. Or are they?